On, "Cool"

I've always wanted to be cool. Like my whole entire life. I was never one of the popular kids at school, and wanted to be like them more than anything. As I got older, this wasn't a priority anymore, but I was still curious about the concept of "cool", and still am. I'm so intrigued by what makes someone cool and what makes another person uncool. What may be cool for me could be nerdy or stupid to someone else. Someone might find someone with tattoos and stretched ears cool (as I would probably "define" this), whereas someone might find someone like that to be a loser and think that someone who wears a baseball cap backwards and baggy sweatshirts as actually cool. I think TJ Detweiler and Jack Morris are cool, whereas Randal and Screech aren't. We might have different ideas about what is cool, but a lot of times we can easily agree on what isn't cool. Most would agree that greasy hair and big glasses are nerdy, and yet someone could have these and still make them cool.

So is it about the person or the idea? I used to think girls that were short, had no boobs or hips, and skinny were cool, and whatever clothes they wore I would think were the coolest things ever. If I went to buy the exact same clothes, I just didn't look cool because I didn't have that body type. I never see myself as being cool, no matter what I wear. If I buy something that I would classify as cool, I eventually get sick of it and don't see it in that manner anymore. Maybe the novelity wears off, and with that, the idea I sought after is lost with it. So maybe it isn't about the clothes?

Some people I think are really cool because of their personality. They're nonchalant, say cool words (such as their own catch phrases), or just don't get caught up in the hype around them. Again, people who are the exact opposite of me. I can never see my qualities as cool because I'm anxious, a perfectionist, think too much (hence why I'm writing this because a cool person would never write about being cool), and care too much about what other people think of me or what marks I get in school. I envy people with the "I don't care" attitude.

So maybe this concept of cool looks at what we think is perfection. I'm not cool because I don't have this perfect body type, no piercings or tattoos, and don't say cool things. Maybe this is why we have so many different ideas about what cool is, because what we're really after is an idea of perfection. Maybe this is why some may think that men with long beards and who wear plaid shirts are cool because that's what their perception of perfection is.

What if cool was actually an attitude, and not one that's so apathetic, but one that valued the characteristics one already has? Chinua Achebe in Things Fall Apart explores an African idea of what cool is, which is defined as a person who shows composure. Those who were considered "hot" had to be excommunicated so that other people wouldn't suffer from this "heat". Maybe the real cool people are the ones who act composed. They don't freak out over every little detail and just enjoy life and who they were created to be. Personally I think I like this better because it's something I can achieve. I don't have to have no boobs or hips to be cool, but I can just act in a composed manner in whatever I do. God also thinks I'm really cool, which is definitely a comfort everyday!